36 Funny Valentines Day Quotes You Should Use Somewhere

Love it or hate it, Valentine’s Day is here to stay. Every year it just gets bigger as more card companies, flower companies and a host of other businesses join the party. Lovers may be happy floating in a sea of bliss, but for practical businesspeople, Valentine’s Day is just another opportunity to make huge profits. Funny Valentines Day Quotes celebrate the hype and hoopla connected to this universal day dedicated to love.

Love is blind, love makes you go down hard on your knees, love is a dirty trick simply so that humans continue to perpetuate the species. These are some interesting sentiments that have been expressed, on the mystery of love. For people who shy away from anything to do with red hearts or pink balloons, funny quotes are a big opportunity to grin at the quirks and follies of lovers. Even those who enjoy the mushy feelings and starry eyes associated with being in love, can enjoy witty and humorous love quotes. Jay Leno says that Valentine’s Day should actually be called extortion day as men get insane buying the perfect gift for their sweet valentine. Oscar Wilde says being in love is a great way to never get married. Check out these funny quotes.

Jay Leno Quote

“Today is Valentine’s Day. Or, as men like to call it, extortion day.” – Jay Leno

Mirabeau Quote

“Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.” – Mirabeau

Aerosmith Quote

“Falling in love is so hard on the knees.” – Aerosmith

Our Bodies

“Sometimes we make love with our eyes. Sometimes we make love with our hands. Sometimes we make love with our bodies. Always we make love with our hearts.”

valentines day quote

“Look how love is up for sale and how people are ready to buy it.”

Get Married

“My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to.”

Heart Filling Up

“Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.”

valentines day quotes

“A kiss is something you cannot give without taking and cannot take without giving.”

W. Somerset Maugham Quote

“Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.” – W. Somerset Maugham

Joyce Brothers Quote

“No matter how love sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill that comes along.” – Joyce Brothers

Endless Forgiveness

“Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.”

William Shakespeare Quote

“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.”

Show His

“Wonder how can there be just a single day out of the 365 days for everyone to show his or her love.”

Oscar Wilde Quote

“One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.” – Oscar Wilde

Plato Quote

“Love is a grave mental disease.” – Plato

Helen Rowland Quote

“A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.” – Helen Rowland

Hawkeye Quote

“Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely.” – Hawkeye

Margaret Atwood Quote

“The Eskimos have fifty two words for snow because it is so special to them; there ought to be as many for love.” – Margaret Atwood

Trying To Hit

“I’m not trying to hit on you, or throw you a line. I just want you to be my Valentine.”

Groucho Marx Quote

“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”

Love Is Blind

“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?”

Ann Landers Quote

“The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.” – Ann Landers

After Women

“Running after women never hurt anybody – it’s catching ’em that does the damage.”

Married Early

“Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.”

Without Love

“Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house.”

Yiddish Proverb

“Three things can’t be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love.” – Yiddish Proverb

Christopher Marlowe Quote

“Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.” – Christopher Marlowe

Being Married

“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

Barn Boots

“Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.” – Hoosier Farmer

H. L. Mencken Quote

“To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.” – H. L. Mencken

Leave Right Now

“I could leave right now and never even look back. I could find someone WAY better than you”

Watched Whatever

“I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.”

Erich Segal Quote

“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” – Erich Segal

Poor Shot Cupid

“Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.”

Be Wise

“It is impossible to love and be wise.”

Damned Much Fun

“Love wouldn’t be blind if the Braille weren’t so damned much fun.”

Hopefully you enjoyed these Valentines Day Quotes. If so, check out some of our other great lists by visiting one of the links below. They may not be Valentines Day Quotes but we promise that you’ll like them just as much as this list!

If you like this article, you might be interested in some of our other articles on Red Hairstyles, Hair Color For Black Women, Caramel Hair Color and Gossip Girl Hairstyles.

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